You know that feeling that pit in your stomach feeling, when you look around and your life doesn’t look the way you want it to. You want more, you know you’re capable of more, you deserve better, but you look around and life just isn’t what you want it to be. You refuse to settle for this life. You’re so determined to get to where you want to go, that where you’re at almost drains you. You can’t enjoy the job you have because you can’t stop thinking about the day you will be rich and living your dream life. You can’t enjoy being single because you spend your days dwelling on how much better life will be when you find your person. You can’t stop thinking about how much better the future will be, you are NOT the kind of person who is going to settle.
Well, my friends, I will never in my life tell you to settle. Settling for a life that is less than I deserve or dream about has never been an option. This mentality though is a blessing and a curse, because constantly focusing on not settling doesn’t allow you to experience the joy of exactly where your life is at. I hated this feeling. What was the point of achieving my aspirations if I was miserable along the way? What was the point of making a lot of money some day at the expense of enjoying my life right now?
I decided that I had to give myself permission to settle in without settling and wow did my level of happiness change. My goals and aspirations for my life haven’t changed. I’m constantly in pursuit of them, but I finally feel like I’m settling into my life. I’m reminding myself to focus on enjoying the process of getting there, enjoying the work I have to put in, enjoying the lessons I have to learn and enjoying the inevitable mistakes that will be made. I’m working on enjoying the hard conversations, enjoying figuring out how to overcome obstacles in my relationships, enjoying growing up and enjoying just settling into where my life is at right now.
If you listen to enough interviews or read enough books about successful people, it seems like getting “there” is almost anticlimactic and by the time they achieved their goal there was already something they wanted to do next. Everyone knows the cliché saying “it’s the journey, not the destination,” well, “settle in without settling” is just another way of thinking about it.
Happiness and fulfillment are always available to us; I don’t understand why we feel they are something to be pursued. It is possible to settle in and find joy in the pursuit, without settling, because you deserve to live the life you imagine. The day you decide to really take this message to heart is the day everything will change for you.