Perspective is the lens through which you see the world. Basically we are all walking around this planet with the most unique pair of sunglasses on our Earth, our perspective.
Have you ever been in a conversation and said something that was COMPLETELY misinterpreted? Two people, same conversation, two different interpretations. How is that possible? Yes, you SAID that but you didn’t mean it THAT way. Why would the think that? Were they even listening to you? Yes, but they were experiencing the conversation through their unique lens.
The lens of our perspective is formed by every conversation, relationship and experience we have had in the past; it is molded by the books we read, the radio stations we listen to, the YouTube videos we watch and any other information we consume.’
Lets say you’ve been cheated on in the past. Your ex-boyfriend (or girlfriend) used to go out on the town and wouldn’t return home till later in the morning – you find out they’ve been cheating. You’re devastated. That experience changes your ability to trust, it changes your perspective. Now, you’re in a new relationship. Your boyfriend wants to go out on the town with their friends. He can’t understand why you’re upset. There is no reason for you to not trust him. But, all you can think about is the last time this happened you were hurt. What he felt was a harmless night out with the boys felt like a betrayal from your perspective.
The good thing is you can CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE; you aren’t stuck with just one lens. You have the power to try on a new lens or to change your lens entirely. And honestly, it doesn’t take much, just the desire to make a shift.
One line from a book has the power to completely shift your perspective.
I used to be exhaustingly positive and optimistic, I never wanted to be angry and I avoided confrontation. I’m not kidding… Blake has joked that I was happy even when I cried. I would be upset and crying trying to find a positive reason for why I was crying…
And then, a little book called The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck by Mark Manson landed in my lap and I read the line:
“The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.”
Wait, wait, wait… so you’re saying if I want to be truly happy I need to stop trying to be so damn happy all time? It was liberating! Suddenly it was OK to be angry, it was OK to be upset, it was OK to have bad days and choose not to find the good in that day, it was OK to no take the high road because screw it nobody is that f*cking perfect.
Something weird happened, I could actually enjoy the experience of being happy more than I ever did before. Being happy no longer felt like a struggle. All it took was a change in perspective.